Pillow talk; positivity

I'm think of setting up a series called "Pillow talk". I know right, how original? I'm going to aim to do at least one or two posts a month for pillow talk and it'll be a range of different topics. Today I'm writing about positivity and sharing with you all my tips on how to be positive. Prepare yourself with a hot drink and some popcorn because this is going to be a long post.

I'm a firm believer that you can choose your own happiness and it's true. When I used to hear people say that a few years ago I'd just think "But you don't understand" blah blah blah. Of course, shit happens and you are going to be sad about it BUT positive thinking means that you can deal with it far better and you can figure out what's important and whether it's really worth getting upset about. Below I have eight rules, if you follow these then you will slowly but surely become more positive.

Positive thinking is probably the most important thing to do to be positive. It's such an easy thing to say but not an easy thing to do because let's face it, we've all felt sorry for ourselves at some point in our lives and we haven't wanted to do anything about it. So how do you go about positive thinking? It's all about changing your negative thoughts and turning them positive.

I used to think negative all the time but now I try my hardest to think positively because I appreciate everything so much more. For example, I used to always think about the worst possible thing that could happen and get myself all worked up about it but now, I think about the best thing that could happen and even if it does go badly, does it really matter that much. Also, I try to appreciate every single minute that I have. For example, if I'm in a situation that's really boring or I just don't like in general, I remind myself that it's not really that bad because I'm able to be there and one day when I'm dying (sorry for the morbidness) I'm going to want to go back to that exact boring moment where I still had the rest of my life ahead of me. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

Something else that helps is instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. This is basically reminding yourself of how lucky you are. Last week I went on about an hour walk (because I had to) and it was just ughhhh but then I thought "some people would do anything to have the ability to walk, I'm lucky that I can". That probably seems really weird but it helps me. Also, I always try and remind myself how lucky I am that I have a bed, water, food etc...

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY 

My next point is to surround yourself with positivity. If you're not happy then there is a reason for it and that reason can be changed if you figure out what it is. A lot of times we surround ourselves with negativity without realising it, such as negative people and so on.

So basically, surround yourself with people, books, food, culture, music and anything else that makes you feel happy. Anything that makes you feel shit about yourself, get rid of it because you don't need it, I promise.

A lot of people compare themselves on a daily basis to other people and I think this is so sad because what another person looks like doesn't and shouldn't effect how you feel about yourself, their achievements don't make yours mean any less. What I find helps with this is when you notice yourself comparing yourself to someone else, list five things that you like about yourself and then find five things you like about them and then remind yourself that that person has things that you don't have and you have things that they don't have but that's okay because it doesn't make you worth any less. Tell yourself that you love yourself, really big yourself up and eventually you will begin to be happy in your own skin and accept yourself.

Comparing yourself often works both ways and sometimes we end up putting other people down and building ourselves up, this isn't okay either. Whenever you notice yourself doing this just remind yourself that everyone is equal, you're no better than them and that's the way it should be. I truly believe that when you're fully secure in yourself you don't feel the need to put other people down whether this be through your thoughts or saying it to them. So basically, don't use other people's flaws to make you feel better about yourself because that isn't okay.

When you're feeling down and upset and you're struggling to think and feel positively, it's important to treat yourself and really look after yourself. This could be through eating your favourite meal or watching your favourite film, whatever it is, do it. Depending on what kind of a mood you're in t could take an hour or a day or maybe even longer to make you feel a bit happier again but however long it is, you should take that time.

Some of the things that I like to do when I'm feeling down are: Watch something funny like the inbetweeners or an idiot abroad, write my thoughts down in my journal, have a pamper day/night, listen to music etc...

Exercise and healthy eating have a huge part to play when it comes to positivity. For starters, exercise releases endorphins so it's bound to make you feel happy. Also, eating healthily and exercising makes me feel better about myself as I'm more energetic and confident. However, don't let this stop you from eating things that you want, if you want cake then eat it because a chocolate fudge cake has never made anyone feel upset has it? The important thing is to not overdo it, it's all about having balance.

Being kind to other people and yourself will impact your mood positively. Things like offering to help people, holding the door open for a stranger, complimenting people and thinking nice things about people will help you to feel happier about yourself, inside and out. Along with being kind to other people you have to be kind yourself. Make sure you remind yourself of your achievements, your goals. Look in the mirror and find everything you dislike about yourself, find a reason to love it and tell yourself that you love it and that you love yourself.

ALLOW NEGATIVITY 

This probably seems like an odd thing for me to write after I've written six tips on how not to be negative and I still mean them but, in order to be positive you have to figure out the things that are genuinely getting you down and try your hardest to fix them and if you can't fix them then try your hardest to fix them. Basically, if you keep all your feelings bottled up then you become a bomb and one day you will explode. The best thing to do is cry if you want to cry, rant if you want to rant, get your feelings out and speak to people, it'll help. But, if it's something that doesn't matter that much try to not let it bother you.

Finally, practice everything that I've listed above and one day thinking positively will come naturally to you and no one will be able to bring you down because you'll just be like "Bitch please, I'm the happiest little thing ever, bye lol".

I hope this post made sense and it's not too over the place. If you have any topics that you want me to discuss then let me know and I'll try and write about it.

xoxo Chloe

P.S - This quote pretty much sums up everything I've just said, remember it (I found it on the Internet).

'One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."'

So, which wolf will you feed?